She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
