just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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