im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
