hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
