No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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