I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
