My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
