i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
