Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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