There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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