Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
