you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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