I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Let's paint friendship bongs
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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