please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
