he shaved USA in his pubs
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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