I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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