still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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