i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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