just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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