so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
