Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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