I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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