easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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