apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
