I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
