Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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