11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
