Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
