tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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