It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
