Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Let's get the cat blown out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
