Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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