non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
