i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
