C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
