I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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