You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
