the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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