i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
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