Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
