whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
