It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
