Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Found the puke drawer
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
