is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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