Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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