11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
