____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
