this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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