I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
