dude i'm inner monologue high
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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